Lord, give me a sign

Lord, give me a sign.
That’s the prayer I pray
When I want something for myself
But need to explain it away.
Help me get one more thing
That brings pleasure to my life,
‘Cause I need to speak Christianese
To justify it to my wife.

I want a new Dodge Viper.
Christ, I think they’re cool.
The salesman at the dealership
Went to my high school.
If that’s not a sign, what is?
Then my old car’s tire went flat
On the way home from the dealership.
It doesn’t get clearer than that.

As with the Apostle Gideon,
The signage didn’t stop there.
In my mailbox was a credit offer:
“No interest for one year” (!)
I fell to my knees in praise.
I blubbered and I stammered.
It’s as if I were a nail
And the Lord Himself the hammer.

Lord, it’s really great
How when I want something bad
There are always signs around,
Always tea leaves to be read.
Signs are Your way of telling us
What we already want to hear;
They make faith quantifiable
And prove that You are near.

I’m sure there are better things to do,
And better ways to live.
But I wouldn’t buy the Viper, Lord
If it weren’t for the signs You give.
As I’m sure it says in John somewhere,
“You have to pay the piper.”
So give me credit, Lord, to join
The next generation of Vipers.